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Joke of the Day

"What's a Pedophile's Favorite Part about Hockey? Getting there before the first period."

"What did the slut's left leg say to her right leg? Nothing. They've never met."

"St. Peter: ""Spock?"" Leonard Nimoy: ""I'm Leonard. Spock was just a character I played on TV."" St. Peter: ""HEY EVERYBODY! IT'S SPOCK!"""

"I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem."

"Who was the last President of China? Yes he was."

"Why wasn't the fish allowed to play in the band? Because he couldn't tuna piano! ^^^^I'll ^^^^show ^^^^myself ^^^^out"

"Max wondered why the ball was slowing growing larger.... and then it hit him."

"My husband ran for 30 minutes on the treadmill. He's told every other person on earth and I didn't want y'all to be out of the loop."

"Been throwing up gang signs all morning. Must've eaten some expired gang signs"

"My biggest fear is getting a 200 page email that ends with ""Thoughts?"""