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Joke of the Day
"It's not how good your work is, it's how well you explain it."
Next Joke
"If your best clothes proudly advertise Monster Energy Drink, you can't be left alone with your best looking cousin."
"TIL about Cunningham's law which states: The best way to get an answer online is to ask the question nicely."
"Ladies: Stop looking for a man to sweep you off your feet.....Sweeping is your job."
"The softest type of toilet paper is cats."
"The worst part about killing baby hitler is when you come back and everyone says ""who?"" but you still killed a baby."
"I'm drowning my self in coke right now. Not the drug. The drink. Nah jk it's the drug."
"I don't get new car smell air fresheners Your '98 Ford Taurus isn't fooling anyone"
"[girl points at my scar] What happened? Oh that? Old sports injury. [flashback to me sprinting after an ice cream truck]"
"Starbucks this morning looks like a scene from ""The Walking Dead."""