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Joke of the Day

"For her birthday, I bought my wife a pair of shoes and a vibrator. If she doesn't like the shoes, she can go fuck herself."

"I hate when fire trucks drive real slow with the siren on. There's one behind me right now. So annoying."

"I've spent the last four years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer No one will do it, though"

"What's the difference between Batman's parents and jokes about Batman's parents? Jokes about Batman's parents can get old."

"They say there is safety in numbers. Tell that to 6 million jews."

"Autotune is the new 80s saxophone."

"What's it called when Batman leaves the church early? Christian Bale"

"When I see a flash mob in public I immediately join in to make it seem like they didn't practice enough."

"Knock knock... Who's there? Ah. Ah who? WEREWOLVES OF LONDON"

"Q: Why does Michael J. Fox make such good milkshakes? A: Because he uses quality ingredients. What did you think, asshole?"