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Joke of the Day

"wat abot when ther was only 1 set of footprints ""thats when i carried u"" wat abot when the fotprints went in the ocean ""i tried to drown u"""

"Why did Kim Jong Un have so many books? Because he is North Korea's great reader."

"How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? Rename the mail folder ""Instruction Manuals."""

"What kind of cheese do metalheads eat? BRIEEEEEEEEEEEE. I hate myself"

"Me: So you're an Atheist? Him: Yup! Me: So what year is it? Him: 2015 Me: based on how years are counted after a certain birth?"

"What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Disney Movies? Disney movies can still touch children."

"Knock knock? Who's there? To. To who? to *whom*."

"Sometimes I like to sit on the floor, bring my knees up to my chest and then lean forward. But that's just how I roll."

"a golfer stabbed a Mexican the other day.... it was a hole in Juan"

"What's the difference between a dog and your best friend? The dog doesn't fuck your wife and walk the house in your robe"