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Joke of the Day
"What kind of cheese do metalheads eat? BRIEEEEEEEEEEEE. I hate myself"
Next Joke
"What do you call a mad lunch? Hater-tots"
"How do nuns surf the web? On the Hymnternet."
"If my dying plant is any indication, I probably don't water my dog enough... Oh fuck, where's my kid?"
"They say money can't buy happiness But it can buy a boat and invite happiness over for the weekend."
"If you go to sleep with a itching ass you will wake up with a stinking finger..."
"I ate 15 raw oysters last night at the restaurant. I paid for it with exploding diarrhea. I think they would have preferred cash."
"[On stage at comedy club] ""Doritos: 11 chips per serving"" *audience erupts in laughter* ""Oreos: 3 cookies per serving"" *audience loses it*"
"I am starting a support group for guys dealing with Autoerotic Asphyxiation. Our motto is: ""Hang in there, we can beat it."""
"Why cant you suprise a snow man? Because its an inanimate object."