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Joke of the Day
"""I can't eat all of that!"" ... and other lies I tell"
Next Joke
"My bf just asked me ""what do you call it when you get water sprayed up your butt to clean it, again?"" Me ""...foreplay"""
"Where do literal dogs live? On the roof."
"Hey man, want to buy some stolen peppers? Careful, they're hot."
"This lady on the train has that raspy, cigarette, alcohol, at death's door kinda voice. I'ma see if she'll record my voice mail message."
"ME: I fell off a 50 ft tall ladder once GIRL: holy cow how did you survive ME: I fell off the bottom rung"
"Why is the moon tastier than Earth? It's meteor."
"What are pigskins used for? Holding the pig together."
"My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell today! Technically he said, 'Less McDonalds' but I'm pretty sure I knew what he meant."
"The lesbians next door gave me a Rolex for my birthday. very nice, but i think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch!"