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Joke of the Day

"""It's ok. This is normal for her."" - How my friends explain me to others."

"When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment... When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute."

"If you're stuck in the Friend-zone, here's a simple 5-step solution: 1) Stop. 2) Being. 3) Her. 4) Fcuking. 5) B!tch."

"I wonder how many crimes The Muppets have kermitted."

"I'm really not a fast driver I just don't like having anyone in front of me... Officer"

"What did captain Kirk do in the head? He Shatner."

"A guy just said he wants to know what I got ""in the trunk"" I told him duct tape, a shovel and rapid decomposition powder Flirting is hard"

"How do turtles communicate? With shell phones."

"Remember, you are faster and trickier than they are. - Me, to myself, when I'm fighting a kid at the playground for the last swing."

"What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk? A milk dud!"