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Joke of the Day

"Blackjack is just like my love life I always hit on 15"

"Why did the railroad thief get caught? He forgot to cover his tracks! im^dead^inside"

"What do you call an alcoholic eating grapes? Impatient."

"Friend: *singing along* But I'm a creep. I'm a widow. Me: Weirdo. Friend: Sorry, I'll stop. Me: No, he says...yeah okay, thanks."

"Why does the squirrel swim on his back? To keep his nuts dry."

"Best headline I have ever read ""Tball stand pitches perfect game at special olympics"""

"My favorite toilet in my house is broken Guess I'll have to make doo with my other one"

"How do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? Velrow"

"Every single cat would kill you if it was big enough. Think about THAT when you are deciding between name brand cat food and the generic."

"Old high school classmate: Really? You're about to have your 4th child? Me: Are you surprised I like kids? Him: I'm surprised you had sex."