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Joke of the Day
"How do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? Velrow"
Next Joke
"What's a feminist's least favorite food? Gender rolls"
"They're really just ""Grammer Nazis"" But the media keeps calling them ""Alt-Write"""
"Sorry I ate all your cake after you passed out and then drew your angry eyebrows on so you'd be ready to discuss it when you woke up."
"I was going to go to the gym and run 7 miles this morning to continue trying to look good but then I remembered I own Photoshop."
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bette-lou ! Bette-lou who ? Bette-lou a few pounds !"
"Me: *gazes into his eyes* Him: *sweats* M *winks* H: I'm kinda uncomfortable M: But this is love H: It's my job to fill liquor orders, ma'am"
"What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her pussy? Only one retarded thing came out of her pussy."
"Remember... You can pick your nose, you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your friends nose."
"The best part of being a girl is not having to open doors. If I approach a door and a guy isn't there I just take a nap til one shows up."