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Joke of the Day
"If I had a dollar for everytime I got laid... I'd be a prostitute."
Next Joke
"Since getting the new iPhone with fingerprint unlock technology I've never worried so much about losing my thumb."
"What do you call mints you can spread through social media? Memementos"
"Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?"
"Newt Gingrich suggested there's a ""right way"" to legalize gay marriage. He also reaffirmed that there's no ""wrong way"" to eat a Reese's."
"No, Groupon. Not even an 89% discount will lure me to ""An evening of yoga and rock climbing."""
"If you don't think of 50 different ways to murder your boss every morning on your drive to work you're probably the boss"
"If all the 7 days were to get in a fight, who would win? Either Saturday or Sunday, because all others are week days."
"Polynesian Hey, ever heard of the homesick, nymphomaniac Polynesian girl? Yeah, she kept longing for Samoa...."
"[ignores the worlds evils] Oh wow this is a lot easier"