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Joke of the Day

"When a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in my face I get concerned about her disproportionate body shape."

"Group of 12 year old girls: We're scared of boys. Me: OMG, me tooooooo!"

"I'm Jealous of my imaginary friend because he has a real friend"

"*rubs magic lamp, genie appears* I wish for World peace. Genie: Can't do it. Million dollars? Genie: Listen bro, I lied on my genie resume."

"I was playing Battleship with my tumor... I won though, my last hit was B9."

"So have you heard about the mass immigration problem ALDI has been having? They even got a new slogan: Do work or ALDI port ya"

"I bet most braille on public signs says: ""How did you know this was here?"""

"Coworker left himself signed in to LinkedIn and now his skills include ""mouth breathing""."

"Q: Why did the mother of twins name both of her sons Edward? A: Because two Eds are better than one."

"What do broccoli and sex have in common? NSFW If you were forced to have it as a child you're gonna hate it as an adult."