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Joke of the Day

"Why does Seth Rogen laugh like he's being asphyxiated? Because even he knows he sucks."

"A guy got run over by the PopeMobile yesterday. I guess he didn't see the sign that said ""Cross traffic does not stop."""

"Penises are like internet connections Having a big pipe is great, but it doesn't do you much good if you don't have any uptime."

"A friend asked me, ""Did you know Isaac Newton died a virgin""? I replied, ""What colour?"""

"My friend and I are playing a game.. So my friend and I are currently playing a game. The person who is hated the most by the Reddit community loses. Well, to put it simply.. I just lost the game."

"what did the locomotive conductor crave once he became a zombie? traaaiins..."

"[coming out of coma] Doc: You survived the heart attack Me: I'm going to eat right & get fit D: *shows me hospital bill* M: *pulls plug*"

"What do mormons and tweakers have in common? They both ride bikes and are on a mission."

"What happened to the little frog who sat on the telephone? He grew up to be a bellhop!"

"Starting a new job today. I'm not sure what company, but it's wherever this lady with the giant box of donuts is going."