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Joke of the Day

"The U.K. has no money Sorry for poor English"

"Did you hear about the man who got squashed by a tree whist in between two bales? He's Hay Oak Hay now."

"Your mother is such a whore... Groupon is sending me discount rates."

"""I'll just stagger around yelling random, incoherent shit as people try to keep me from hurting myself."" Drunks and 1 year olds."

"i got complimented on my driving earlier they left a note on the car saying parking fine"

"What do get when you cross a Jehovah's witness and a Hells Angel? Someone who knocks on your front door and tells you to piss off."

"Volkswagen announces it will open a facility in Israel to make a new advanced vehicle... The new models are are so advanced not only will they stop on a dime, they'll actually pick it up."

"I like my women like I like my sandwiches crusty and filled with cheese."

"The year 2932, lines for the new iPhone are so long, many die before reaching the end. Those who do, get back in line for the next phone."

"Why did the alarm go off at the mansion? Because the owner entered the correct code."