75938

Joke of the Day

"Someone broke into my local corner shop and stole 30 cases of Red Bull last night Honestly, I don't know how these people sleep at night"

"Oh man what's it called when you keep doing the same thing over & over but keep getting the same result? Oh yeah, I'm a serial killer."

"How did Darth Vader know what Obi-Wan was getting for christmas? He felt his presents."

"How many Software Engineers does it take to change a light-bulb? None. It's a hardware problem."

"Why are Ethiopians so good at blowjobs? Because they have to swallow everything they can"

"What do you call an experienced Nazi doctor who treats animals? A veteran Aryan"

"This coworker is in a really good mood this morning, so I hacked his Facebook account and wrote ""sexy"" on all of his wife's friends' pics."

"crisis in the morning, crisis in the evening, crisis at suppertime. in an indifferent universe, you can have an existential crisis anytime!"

"And the Lord said unto John ""come forth and receive eternal life."" But John came fifth and got a toaster."

"Everyone gets on the fashion industry for unrealistic beauty standards, but can we talk about unrealistic depictions of food on boxes?"