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Joke of the Day

"What does the comedian say to his children on his deathbed? ""No one will appreciate your jokes once you're *dad.*"""

Next Joke
 
"Either my daughter has pink glitter in her hair or head lice is way more fabulous than I remember."
"Why did the scarecrow get a promotion ? Because he was out standing in his field :)"
"Why can't you feel photons? Because they are light."
"You know what is intense? Camping. Is intense."
"Why did Jared stop eating subway? (NSFW) Because now he prefers cheese pizza"
"Yelp is a great way to find out where garbage people will never eat again because one time a waitress forgot their honey mustard."
"What kind of bagel can fly? A plane bagel!"
"What's your best one-liner?"
"When everyone around you has their phone out... I guess you could say... you're in a phony world... I am so sorry guys."