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Joke of the Day

"What does the comedian say to his children on his deathbed? ""No one will appreciate your jokes once you're *dad.*"""

"The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my house. I didn't know what to make of it."

"How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on him."

"What did the bear say after eating the doctor? I feel M.D. inside."

"Fat chicks are like masturbation. Totally fine to do in the privacy of your own home, but you should be ashamed to be caught in public."

"Push up bras A push-up bra is like a bag of chips. You open it up and its half empty."

"If you're going to have a beer with Russian's You better Czech yourself before you wreck yourself. Edit:FUCK I JUST REALIZED HOW BAD THIS JOKE IS"

"Do you know what really bugs me? Insect puns"

"If you're married to your dick... would you be a wife beater?"

"Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar n."