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Joke of the Day

"Resuming Windows... Resuming Windows is like going back to sex after being interrupted. It doesn't feel the same and you end up restarting."

"What do you call herpes on a scarecrow? A corn on the cob"

"Why don't Jews eat pussy? It's too close to the gas chamber."

"If god didn't like sex, He wouldn't make us scream His name when it's really hot."

"What do you get if you stuff your computer's disk drive with herbs? A thyme machine."

"[First date] ""So, do you have any pets?"" Yeah, I have a pet crow. He's white. ""You have an albino crow?"" He prefers the term cawcasian."

"What's the difference between Hitler and cops? Come on, he wasn't that bad."

"A large account followed me to thank me for a trophy through DM, then immediately unfollowed me. It must be exhausting to be Twitter elite."

"How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They'll just beat the room for being black"

"There's nothing scarier than a squirrel who's not afraid of you."