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Joke of the Day
"There's nothing scarier than a squirrel who's not afraid of you."
Next Joke
"What is the difference between a Muslim and Dutch? As a Muslim you get stoned for being gay, but both are legal for a Dutch."
"How do you get a one armed man out of a tree? Wave to him"
"""Life's too short to remove USB safely"""
"How many x does it take to change a lightbulb? f(x), where f(x) = the optimal number of x for establishing a humorous stereotype."
"How are books like dogs? The good ones are hard to put down"
"""Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital..."" ""Jeremy, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."""
"The female praying mantis devours the male within minutes after mating, while the female human prefers to stretch it out over a lifetime."
"If a tree falls in the forest with no one around to hear it... Does a hipster still buy the soundtrack?"
"My crush said he made his phone keys sticky thinking of me so I dumped him. I'm disgusted. What kind of loser still has keys on his phone?"