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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Twitter and Game of Thrones? Twitter only allows 140 characters."

"My wife and I have an ongoing game called ""Wipe Boogers on Stuff in the House"" that she doesn't know we are playing"

"Parallel lines have got so much in common. It's a shame they'll never get to meet."

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. -Me with beer, me without beer"

"How do you kill 200 flies at once? You slap an Ethiopian in the face."

"Q: What do small businesses cry when account executives harass them for money? A: Yelp!"

"Why are there no Russian strippers? Cuz they tried to kill all the Poles"

"Don't get me wrong, you are hot as hell, I am just too lazy to stalk right now."

"What do you get if you cross a skunk and a boomerang? A smell that keeps coming back!"

"I held the record for collecting Stephen King's books. Then I lost It."