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Joke of the Day

"If you love something, set a cheese trap. If you catch it, it's a mouse. Why are you in love with a mouse?"

"I hate hipsters. Their smug faces, vegan diet, tiny feet & sawdust bedding. No wait. Hamsters. I hate hamsters."

"It's time to clean the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside..."

"Neil Armstrong said ""One small step for man..."". I would've just said ""OH, MY GOD, I'M ON THE MOON!!!!!!""."

"I saw a front page post today about a woman who hasn't experienced a period in 15 years. That's one long sentence."

"I swallowed two pieces of string yesterday I shit you knot"

"Do you know the difference between a mailbox and an elephant's asshole? No? Remind me not to give you a letter to mail."

"""I have to take a shit, play Stairway To Heaven."" - Radio DJ's"

"Why couldn't the lizard have any children? It had a reptile dysfunction!"

"What did they say to the CEO who raise minimum wage to $70,000? Price is right!"