147282
Joke of the Day
"Good news! That lump I found in my breast turned out to be a Skittle."
Next Joke
"I'm gonna make a good dad one day... Lady Friend: ""I'm in Times Squares!"" Me: ""Did you just text me an incomplete math problem?"" Lady Friend: ""You can barely do algebra..."""
"U ever squeeze out a turd so big that it feels like u traveled through time once it's out? anyway forgive me father for i have sinned"
"The True Secret of Ignorance... ...you're looking in the wrong place."
"Knock knock?? Who's there?? Jehovah Witness. Knock knock?? Knock knock?? Hello?? Knock knock??"
"Every time ""Cops"" comes on I'm like ""PLEASE don't show my episode."""
"I'm an undecided voter. Shoot myself, overdose, or jump off a cliff?"
"cnt wait to dress up as a windmill for halloween its never a bad time to teach ppl about renewable energy sources lmao"
"What is dark and hairy on the outside, soft and moist on the inside, starts with a C, ends with a T, and has a U and an N in it? A coconut"
"""I'm in."" - Samuel L. Jackson to every movie pitch he's ever heard"