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Joke of the Day

"I'm gonna make a good dad one day... Lady Friend: ""I'm in Times Squares!"" Me: ""Did you just text me an incomplete math problem?"" Lady Friend: ""You can barely do algebra..."""

"What do men and tile floors have in common? ...if you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years."

"Who let the dogs out? Bitches."

"How do you endanger the fly species? Slap an African child."

"Reports of a man being shot with a starters pistol.. Police think it may be race related"

"*logs on Facebook IT'S YOUR OLD HIGH SCHOOL BULLY'S BIRTHDAY TODAY! *logs off WAIT COME BACK! YOU HAVEN'T HEARD ABOUT YOUR EX'S ENGAGEMENT!"

"two toms and a hi-hat fall off a cliff... bu-dum tss"

"How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw."

"I'm the dog whisperer. I'll whisper the word ""dog"" 20.. hell, 30 times if the price is right"

"How do you piss off thousands of people on the internet all at once? [deleted]"