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Joke of the Day

"I called my boss this morning and told him i was sick. ""Just how sick are you?"" he said. ""well im in bed with my little sister, is that sick enough"""

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"If I had a dollar every time someone called me sexist... I'd have enough money to sponsor the repealing of the 19th Amendment."
"What is it called when the police work overtime? Copper Nitrate."
"The only way to score with a robot Is to get it in the mode"
"I've been nominated for person most likely to not be nominated for anything."
"The Coal Industry... ... has come under fire lately."
"Friend 1 ""hey dude what's your PSN name?"" Friend 2 ""did you just assume my platform!"""
"What killed Phil Hughes? Ebola."
"My friend bought a choir girl zombie costume for Halloween. She put it on and said, ""Am I menacing?"" I said, ""Of course, you're a choir girl."""
"An alpaca made me an offer I couldn't refuse. I guess it was an Alpac'ino."