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Joke of the Day
"By now, I'm pretty sure Scott Weiland was right. He's half the man he used to be."
Next Joke
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Aramis ! Aramis who ? Aramis'tery !"
"How do you seperate the men from the boys? A crowbar."
"What's Hitler's least favorite planet? Jewpiter."
"Nurse: You need to eat or you can't have your pain meds. Me: Do the thing. Nurse: Me: Nurse: *holding fork* [sigh]*makes airplane noise*"
"Have you been on /r/bigdickproblems ? Of course you haven't."
"Boy asks Girl.... Boy: Will you marry me? *girl slaps him* Girl: What did you say? *boy gets up and and slaps her twice* Boy: If you didn't hear what I said, then why did you slap me?"
"As long as you're good at blending in, you can be part of Brad and Angelina's family too."
"I told my girlfriend I was named after Thomas Jefferson. She said, ""Your name is Brian."" I said, ""Right. But I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson."""
"My girlfriend is homophobic... she's afraid I'm a gay."