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Joke of the Day

"Before Twitter there was Facebook, before Facebook there was MySpace and before that I had a life."

"Whoever coined the phrase ""smooth as a baby's bottom"" must have been a real creep."

"Boy, is my face red! Fingering a suspect means something totally different at the police station, you guys."

"How do you trigger a feminist? You've got male."

"I had sex for an hour and 20 seconds today... Thank you daylight savings time."

"I spend 90% of my life trying to do the right thing and the other half wondering why I don't understand Math."

"What does George Bush Jr and Michael Jackson have in common? Bush did 9/11 and Jackson did 9 11 year-olds."

"[throwes some foam packing peanuts into a pond] ""HEY! NO LITERING--"" shh wait [a flock of rubber duckies float over squeaking excitedley]"

"Closed letter to the Mods of /r/Jokes O"

"The best thing about going on a first date to the petting zoo is that if she doesn't put out there are still plenty of options."