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Joke of the Day

"The Indian man went to the doctor complaining about stomach pains. He had Hindigestion."

"I don't get it. Rock beats scissors but no one says shit about running with them."

"New Year's Eve is just a myth created by the government to sell you more years"

"[Swims out to Sea] *sees shark* OH NO! *dolphins save me* Thanks dolphins! *dolphins ask for a tip [I'm broke] *they return me to the shark*"

"""Taxi"" A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi. B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi."

"I got a job with the Postal Service So I could tell people I'm a mail escort."

"Can you cure hereditary diarrhea? Or does it just run through your jeans?"

"Dr: We need you to come back for additional blood work... Me: Why, is something wrong?! Dr: Yes. Your blood sample was mostly champagne..."

"Hear about that guy who was so desperate for accolades that he framed his parking citation?"

"They all laughed when I told them I'm going to be a comedian... well...they are not laughing anymore!"