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Joke of the Day

"I like to think of myself as a guy who doesn't scare too easily but I just beat the shit out of a motion activated air freshener."

"What's better than a laxative? Reddit."

"Imagine meeting the person of your dreams and then finding out they use cutlery to eat a burger."

"What's the difference between love and herpes? Love doesn't last forever."

"What if 85% of Homeless veterans are 2LTs lost on a land navigation course?"

"Return policy: ""If for any reason you are not satisfied..."" Ok, I'm not satisfied because dwarves and rockets."

"What does vlads wife say about his premature ejaculation? Just putin, don't Russian"

"I don't believe Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel on his back. He wouldn't get any balance laying on his shell."

"What's the difference between a boy scout and a Jew? One gets a badge for lighting stuff on fire, while the other gets a badge for being lit on fire."

"I could not stop my baby boy from crying so I poured no tears shampoo in his eyes, it didn't work."