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Joke of the Day

"[Infomercial] HOST: Wanna learn how to lose up to 15 pounds with one simple trick?!? AUDIENCE: Yes! HOST: Here's how! *rips off his own arm*"

Next Joke
 
"What do you call a hard rock fan going through gender reassignment surgery? A transition metal."
"People who leave careers to ""spend more time with the family"" must have really shitty careers or a MUCH better family than mine."
"I don't mean to brag, but I'm extremely talented with my lips and tongue. *Whistles The Andy Griffith Show theme song flawlessly*"
"What do you call a woman who thinks she has the best rack in the world? [oc] Boobcocky"
"I wanna get HAMMERED tonight. Seriously? Yeah, drunk as hell, bro. Riiight. Of course, of course. *quietly slides hammer back into sleeve*"
"Joke Yo momma so fat when she goes to the grocery store she brings a battery charger."
"Who was the first black person accepted into Harvard University? The Janitor"
"What animal spins around about 200 times after it dies? A rotisserie chicken"
"Why did Sarah Palin endorse Donald Trump? Because it takes a cunt to recognize another."
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