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Joke of the Day
"I'm smart. Just not remembers how to write a cursive Z, smart."
Next Joke
"Guys GUYS wait! Stay awake, for God's sake stay awake because I just found out if you die on Twitter YOU DIE IN REAL LIFE!"
"What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Just trying to fit in."
"How do you bother somebody with OCD 3,7,9,11,13,17,19....."
"Why was the Shire so shocked when Bilbo threw himself and Sam into Mt. Doom? They were the first citizens they ever lost to a Mordor-suicide like that."
"When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85. That's why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship."
"What kind of soap do you use to clean a dirty joke? Bawdy wash."
"What do you call an election in Syria? A civil war"
"If my boss knew how unproductive I am on Fridays, he wouldn't want me here either."
"I JUST CONSUMED SO MUCH SUGAR THAT I FEEL ALL SHOUTY IN MY HEAD AND CAPS LOCKY AND HOLY CRAP HOW DO PEOPLE DO ACTUAL DRUGS"