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Joke of the Day
"NSFW Your dick's like Mt. Everest... It's hard to get up."
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"Surprise your wife today. Sell all her shoes and buy something nice for yourself."
"How do you make a tissue dance? You put a gun to it's head and tell it to."
"what did the zombie say when he prank-called someone? ""deez gutz"""
"What do you call it when you're run over by a German? Hunover."
"If you ever need 15 minutes of peace and quiet from texting, tell her to send a selfie."
"How dare you complain about your life? Someone's mom is Snooki."
"Some Warning Labels are a little retarded, like on my Deodorant it says, ""Avoid Contact with Eyes""....TOO LATE, I've already seen it!!!"
"How to stop checking someone's Facebook page: 1. Delete your Facebook profile 2. Break your phone 3. Give away your laptop 4. Die"
"Violinists are so brave. They fret not."