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Joke of the Day

"If you ever need 15 minutes of peace and quiet from texting, tell her to send a selfie."

"*feels comfortable* comfortable: *slaps hand away*"

"[Nsfw] How do you know you have a high sperm count? She has to chew before swallowing"

"What do you call a cow masterbating? Beef strokinoff"

"If it takes 150 yards of stewed tripe to make a pair of leather britches for a bull, how long does it take for a double breasted cockroach to climb a bar of soft soap? You tell me and we'll both know."

"I surveyed 50 women on what hair product they used in the shower. I never knew there was a brand called ""how the hell did you get in here?!'"

"What is a UPS worker's favorite cloud service? Dropbox."

"This boy said he was going to hit me with the neck of a guitar.... I said, Is that a fret?"

"I don't date because I have a very particular type Girls that like me"

"What is the the Chicken's favorite composer? bach bach bach time to return to /r/TIL"