192828

Joke of the Day

"Surprise your wife today. Sell all her shoes and buy something nice for yourself."

"Conductor do you stop at the Savoy Hotel? I should say not on my salary!"

"Not enough drugs in the world that would make me strip in front of a webcam. But a bottle of wine should do it."

"Mute goes to a wedding... After the ceremony he won't let go of his dick and everyone's a little put off by his public display. With his free hand, he signs ""Speak now or forever hold your peace""."

"How Many liberals does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, because they're so darn stupid!"

"Cocky joke: You know, I've recently decided I just don't like my penis. It's such a huge dick."

"If I ever met a Space Alien, I'd resist shaking its extended appendage, not knowing for sure the details of alien anatomy."

"Me: Hi, mom. I'm feeling tremendous guilt. Mom: Why? Me: Just thought I'd save you the effort."

"I had a dream I was in a part of the US that was filled with nothing but museums. It was State of the Art."

"Today I saw a 'missing dog' post on the entrance door of a ... ... chinese restaurant."