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Joke of the Day

"I've been working really hard on controlling my alcoholism I can't remember the last time I blacked out."

"A taliban and his wife are getting ready to go to sleep at night... ...but before that, the taliban goes out to pee. He returns back all wet. ""Is it raining outside?"" ""No, it's windy..."""

"I've been informed that ""Ped Xing"" means ""Pedestrian Crossing."" So what? Child molesters on horseback should get out of my way, too."

"I bought a fancy new clock radio today. It cost me alarm and a leg."

"So, a cheerleader walks into a Starbucks... and shouts, ""gimme a tea!"""

"Whenever I see an elderly person who looks lost and confused, I stop and take a moment to feed 'em a peanut."

"How do you call Niggeria leaving EU? blackout"

"I hate it when I punch ghosts! http://imgur.com/lVv8D6W"

"My girlfreind says I'm an idiot who can't do anything right. So I packed her bags and left."

"i asked my girlfriend what she would do if i won the lottery She said: i would take half of it and run away Then i replied: ok i won 10 dollars here's 5 now get the fuck out"