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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear the one about the old man at the doctor? Man: I can't pee, doc! Doctor: How old are you? Man: I'm 90 years old. Doctor: Oh, you've peed enough! Heard this one in a bathroom at Walmart."

"Boyfriend and Girlfriend are at a baseball game the boyfriend leans over the girlfriend and says, ""I'll kiss you on the strikes, if you kiss me on the balls"""

"Just saw a hobo sleeping on a box and it was surrounded by bubble wrap. Must be his alarm system."

"We got a tornado warning, and I'm too scared to open my windows. Don't want any sharks in my house."

"One for the Mexican holiday. What do you call four Mexicans drowning? Cuatro Sinko."

"You'd think 'The Terminator' would know what to do in the event of some lady having a child that threatens your way of life."

"I like TV, I was watching Blue Peter today He's my neighbour with a heart condition who was walking his dog. I asked why he didn't have a pacemaker. He replied ""I can't even keep up with my dog""..."

"What do you call heavy metal music written about fruit? Applecore. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"woman on death row Warden: ""What would you like for your last meal?"" Woman: ""I don't know, what do you want?"""

"If my dad was president of this country... There would be no Isis. It would be Waswas. Dad walked in to the kitchen and dropped this on me."