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Joke of the Day
"My office has started random urine testing of employees to detect traces of hope or optimism."
Next Joke
"The entire plot of spiderman A teenage boy finds out he can shoot white stuff out his body"
"How does a train driver operate a train while eating gum? He goes chew chew chew... creds to my 5yo brother"
"Whenever I drink whiskey, I turn into Kermit the Frog. I start talking funny, I turn green, and then I end up fucking a fat pig"
"How does Google clean their facilities? They use Google Mops."
"My marriage is like a game of cards It started out with two hearts and a diamond, now all I want is a club and a spade."
"Did you hear about Trump getting Pink Floyd back together? Only problem is, he's gonna make them pay for every brick in the wall."
"Being a gynaecologist is like being a pizza delivery guy. You can smell it but you can't taste it. I'm sure that's what paediatricians say as well"
"So FedEx and UPS merged... the new company will be called FedUp"
"Why did the piglets do badly in school? They were all slow loiners."