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Joke of the Day

"My marriage is like a game of cards It started out with two hearts and a diamond, now all I want is a club and a spade."

"Most serial killers are men. That's because women prefer to kill just one man, over a period of many, many years."

"I thought I'd repost an old joke... Oops wrong sub..."

"My dad almost caught me watching midget porn. Thankfully I put my finger on the screen in time."

"Whisper ""whey protein"" into a mirror three times if you want a straight white man to come out of it and talk at you"

"Someone just tweeted something vague that made me think a celeb had died so I googled ""dead."" No dice! Thank god---hang in there, celebs!"

"Why did the pie go to the dentist? It needed a filling."

"Why does a honeymoon only last 7 days? Because 7 days makes a hole weak"

"Talk is cheap. Until you hire a lawyer."

"Speaking of jokes that aren't funny cut it out with the abortion ones"