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Joke of the Day

"I can't call people Grammar Nazis on social media anymore.... Now I call them the Alt-Write."

"I used to have a dog named Ass. RIP Ass"

"What's a necrophiliacs favorite drink? Doesn't matter, so long as it's stiff."

"What's 80 feet long and has 22 teeth? The front row of a Ted Nugent concert."

"What's white and smells like black paint? The freshly painted fence. What's black and smells like white paint? The 6 year old who painted it"

"Sorry about your street cred, black guys named Milton."

"What do you call a herd of cows in a psychiatrists office? An encownter group."

"Michael Cera, too timid to send his food back even though he's allergic to almonds, eats a meal and politely goes into anaphylactic shock."

"ME: *holding my crying newborn son* There. There. I ALSO find myself very upsetting."

"How does a space class start a party? They planet!"