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Joke of the Day

"What's a necrophiliacs favorite drink? Doesn't matter, so long as it's stiff."

"Why was the struggling mange seen shaking the club cat? To see if there was any more money in the kitty!"

"They found Richard III's skeleton in a parking lot. Time stamp on the ticket stub indicates he owes $8,432,773."

"The supermarket ran out of soup. They were out of stock."

"A cannibal receives a call from his recently found brother. ""What a relief! I thought I passed you on the side of the road the other day."""

"Sorry I called animal control about your children but I really think those tranquilizer darts did the trick."

"I'm so sick of people looking at me funny because I choose to breast feed. If I wanna get my milk straight from the cow, then that's up to me."

"Why is there Head & Shoulders shampoo. Who has hair on their shoulders. Whose shampooing their shoulder hair. Please come forward."

"Perfect relationships exist in thoughts, movies, and Facebook timelines."

"You're all arguing about what color the dress is... While I'm having sex with the girl who took it off."