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Joke of the Day

"Why did the muscle miss class? ...because it wasn't a-tendon!"

"What's the worst thing about being an atheist? You have no one to call to when you're having an orgasm."

"Speculation was rife as to why Vladimir Putin has been missing for the last 10 days. Turns out he had the flu. That's what happens when you fight cold wars."

"BOSS: I'm sorry mike, but you've been downsized ME: (75% of my original size, in a voice 125% higher pitched) ahh maaan"

"An invisible man attacked me while he was masturbating. He came out of nowhere."

"I'm such a hipster... I'm such a hipster that I won't listen to the Beatles until they're all dead. That way I can say I was a fan when they were underground."

"Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver? She was a woman."

"The last time anything got banged on my bed, it was my little toe against the leg."

"My mailbox is overflowing, my spam folder and junk folder rival each other in size, and I keep procrastinating on dealing with it... But one day I'm gonna go clean all that up, you just wait and DNC."

"Blasphemous jokes http://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/comments/ubv1y/whats_the_best_religious_or_antireligious_joke/ Yes, it is in /r/atheism, but there are some really good ones in there"