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Joke of the Day

"An invisible man attacked me while he was masturbating. He came out of nowhere."

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"I just sold all my John Lennon memorabilia on eBay Imagine all the PayPal"
"How do we know hamburgers have high IQ's? They 'loin' fast!"
"It should be illegal to own a bug-eyed pug and not make it wear sunglasses in public."
"CW: Why don't you ever wear your hair down? Me: It makes me look approachable. CW: So? Me: I don't want to encourage that."
"Why has there never been an Asian president? Because they are taken to the hospital if the election lasts more than 4 hours"
"I started a diet two weeks ago So far I've lost 14 days"
"Walked into a very expensive restaurant, sat down, was handed a menu. Comic Sans. Got up and left. Life is hard."
"A man walked into a bar... He said ""Ow"""
"What's it called when you apologize using dots and dashes? Remorse code"