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Joke of the Day
"I just want to live in a world where people come with on/off switches."
Next Joke
"How does a Mexican use 'liver' and 'cheese' in the same sentence? Liver alone, cheese mine!"
"""It's beautiful today. Let's work outside."" *5 mins later* ""This was a terrible idea."" *more bees disrupt the open heart surgery*"
"Jobs: You Need To Have Your BA *got BA Jobs: you need 5yrs experience *5years later Jobs: You need a MA *Got MA Jobs: we need some1 young"
"Forget Washington, Lincoln, JFK. Trump Is Simply Going To Be The Best President To Have Come in A Melania."
"I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out... I say bought I actually stole it off a short fat, ginger kid"
"What is the most common comment on Reddit? OPs mother."
"What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with a famous French general? Napoleon Bunnyparte!"
"I saw a middle aged man staring at a picture of his very first steps. With tears in his eyes, he told me he regrets ever replacing the steps with an elevator."
"I told my girlfriend I'm JFK Because I'm the king of cum-a-lot"