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Joke of the Day

"Crappy wordplay jokes... ...the cruelest form of punishment. I'll let myself out now."

"Somehow, I must have switched shopping carts while I was at the store. I don't remember buying any of this stuff. Or having an Asian baby."

"Q: How do convicts get drugs while they're in prison? A: Some asshole brings 'em in."

"Seriously Alejandro, stop calling Gaga. I think she's made it pretty clear she's not interested and frankly you can do better."

"Boyfriend is talking about taking me on a camping trip. Like, a real one where we'll sleep in a tent and pee outside. Is he mad at me?"

"Vagina jokes are not funny! Period."

"If you ever see a troll eat a fairy It's either time for rehab or you're on Reddit."

"My girlfriend got mad and said she need some time and distance as she left the house crying... I still don't get it why she wants to calculate the velocity"

"What do Yoko Ono and African children have in common? They both survive on dead beatles (beetles)."

"[vacuuming] Pick up your feet please. Kid on sofa: No! Ok *sucks kid into vacuum feet first* *turns to next kid* Pick up your feet please."