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Joke of the Day

"This day in history. 1701. Maryland legalized divorce in cases where the wife displeased their clergyman. What kind of kinky cult was that?"

"I've reached the most difficult moment in parenting: explaining to my son why the first Star Wars movie is Episode 4."

"What's the difference between Obama supporters and Romney supporters? Romney supporters sign their checks on the front. Obama supporters sign their checks on the back."

"I just saved a bunch of monkeys on car insurance by telling them that monkeys don't drive so they don't need insurance."

"Sherlock and Watson are filling in their college application. Watson: Sherlock? Why have you skipped writing this essay? Sherlock: It's supplementary my dear Watson"

"If things around you don't change, change the thing you're around."

"A post at night is like a land mine You have to happen upon it to blow on"

"I tried telling a joke to Messi But he missed the point"

"Friend: Your three kids are so well behaved! Me: Well .... there used to be four."

"I wonder if Jesus knows that everyone just pretends to be his friend so they can move into his sweet cloud house."