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Joke of the Day

"it's weird how Americans say ""soccer"" instead of ""football"" and my dad says ""I wish you were dead"" rather than ""i love you"""

"Boyfriend and Girlfriend are at a baseball game the boyfriend leans over the girlfriend and says, ""I'll kiss you on the strikes, if you kiss me on the balls"""

"What do you get when a cow jumps over a barbed-wire fence? Utter destruction!"

"America is there land of opportunity, where if you work hard enough, you can make the business owners rich."

"It's hard dating a snowman... His parents will never warm up to you."

"A farmer asks the scarecrow if he likes his job ""Well... this job isn't for everyone..."" the scarecrow ponders, ""but hey... it's in my jeans"""

"You know that amazing feeling you get after kissing a woman? of course you don't."

"Shoving a hose up someones butt. What a douche move!"

"I had a threesome planned for Valentines Day... There were a couple of no-shows, but I had a good time anyway."

"BAlls and Pen*s are best friends Balls to penis: why the fcuk you leave me when u see a hole or 2 mountains? Penis: coz thats the only time i really need you"