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Joke of the Day

"How do you get a musician off of your porch? You pay for the pizza."

"Wanna hear a story about a ghost? That's the spirit."

"How did the tugboat get AIDS? It was rear-ended by a ferry."

"Volkswagon How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen? 2 in the front, 3 in the back and 6 million in the ash tray"

"I want to go to Gordon Ramsey's restaurant, throw a plate of risotto against the wall, and say ""Whoever made this is a fucking donkey!"""

"Mugger: Gimme yer wallet & don't do nuthin dumb Me: That's a double negative, my friend. Unlike Romance languages, English - hey, come back"

"*air horn sound* *second air horn sound* Me: ""This isn't deodorant."""

"I went to the doctor with a hearing problem He said ""Can you describe the symptoms?"" I said ""Homers a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair"""

"What do you get when you cross a bunny with a spider? A harenet."

"A blonde walks into a bar yelling, ""65 days!"" A guy asks her, ""What's in 65 days?"" The blonde replies, ""I completed the puzzle in 65 days! The box said 2 to 4 years!"""