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Joke of the Day

"How Can You Identify a Bald Eagle? All his feathers are combed to one side"

"How much do I trust reddit? I went on /r/starwars before seeing the new Star Wars."

"What is a punny play? A play on words."

"What goes up a chimney down, but won't go down a chimney up? An umbrella!"

"DIET TIP: You are what you eat. Do you really want to be celery? C'mon. Not even celery wants to be celery."

"I had a gay friend in high school... ...who fell into a coma. We called him Tomato: he was a fruit and a vegetable."

"Where do you find an enlightened mosquito? In Bhuddapest"

"What's the difference between a refugee and E.T? E.T learned English and wanted to go home"

"What do you use to determine if a refrigerated burger is cold enough? A thermomeater!"

"Choosing between Trader Joe's and Whole Foods is white people's real Twilight."