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Joke of the Day

"TIL in 1972, the Russians attacked their own submarine off the coast of Guatemala Woops, wrong sub."

"So my parents caught me masturbating. They must've heard the rustling in their wardrobe when they were fucking."

"What's the difference between your mom and my mom? Your mom still sucks my dad's dick"

"Unfaithful Russian men come home to find all their stuff in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box in a box on the sidewalk."

"Chuck Norris ran the 100 meters sprint And lapped Usain Bolt..........twice"

"You could make a whole biopic about my life using only the infomercial footage of people unable to perform simple tasks for no reason."

"If Bernie doesn't get the nomination, I'm voting Trump... Also, if McDonalds is out of Chicken Nuggets, I'm going to eat 20 scorpions."

"If you're hot I'm going to follow you. nnnnJust like I do on twitter."

"What did capital 'O' say to capital 'Q'? ""Hey, put that thing back in your trousers!"""

"How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!"