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Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris ran the 100 meters sprint And lapped Usain Bolt..........twice"

"Men don't realize that if we're sleeping with them on the first date, we're probably not interested in seeing them again either."

"The Albanian planted lightbulbs in his garden. He heard that tulips grew from bulbs."

"*rubs lamp* Genie: ""you get three wishes"" Me: ""I wish I wasn't so alone"" Genie: ""k wow I'm like right here"""

"I have a friend named ""Chris Hoffman"" I asked him to name his son Jack."

"Who's the opposite of Christopher Reeve? Christopher Walken"

"My idea to call our weekend bicycling group the ""Pedalphiles"" was not well-received AT ALL."

"I've banged a lot of hoes and I'm planning on retiring. I heard the retirement homes have good pussy."

"The patient was about to die ""Well,"" said the doctor, ""He can wait."""

"This post will give you wings... because you just read bull."