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Joke of the Day

"If Bernie doesn't get the nomination, I'm voting Trump... Also, if McDonalds is out of Chicken Nuggets, I'm going to eat 20 scorpions."

"Titties and explosions. Plot line optional. #HollywoodPostItNote"

"Speed Dating Tell me something about yourself I have 3 cats What do u do for fun I have 3 cats What are you most proud about I have 3 Next"

"Q: What does K-mart stand for? A: Kuz Mexicans Are Rich Too"

"Autocorrect is like being drunk: You only realise what it did after you have left a bad impression."

"Why go through the trouble of becoming an astronaut when you could just put a plastic bag over your head and roll down a hill in a freezer?"

"How do you know if the camera you just bought was made in Asia? If the shutter makes a ""crick"" noise."

"Why did little Jimmy break open his computer? It said that it had 20 cookies in it."

"What should you do if you're cold? Stand in the corner, because it's 90 degrees."

"A buddy and I are in the same programming class My friend starts writing down a note I look at it He says ""Hay! That note is private"" I respond ""But we are in the same class"""