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Joke of the Day

"I asked two Uber drivers to pick each other up and am watching them chase each other in circles around my block until they run out of gas."

"English teacher asks me, ""What's an example of pleonasm? ""Troublesome Woman"""

"What happens to a legend's career when he loses his leg? It ends."

"Is that your face or are you wearing your hair back to front today?"

"My Boss's Name is Richard. I think his last name should be Cranium; because he is a dick head."

"Cigarette's killed my wife. She was run over by the Marlboro truck."

"The Earth gets a day, Sharks get a week. That sounds about right."

"Life is like a box of chocolates... ... it doesn't last long for fat people."

"IF all women are crazy... Then... You might as well pick a pretty one."

"Tupac Hologram owes me $50 if you see him materialize any time soon tell him I'm looking for him"