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Joke of the Day
"My wife faked an orgasm, so I faked a mortgage payment"
Next Joke
"Our welcome mat is missing its L. I'd leave it that way but I'm afraid it'll look like we're bragging."
"I have a fear of speed bumps... But I'm slowly getting over it."
"What time do you go to the dentist? Tooth hurty."
"How do you pick up a Muslim girl? Piece by piece"
"What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? Dogs don't lick jam... just kidding... they do ;)"
"What is the strictest part of a ship? The stern"
"Did you hear about the guy who crushes Pepsi cans with a hydraulic press? It's sodapressing."
"Who is Thor? A very worn-out thuper hero. (An excerpt from Brother Time and the Turtle: More Excuses for Jokes: http://amzn.com/B00BERRBI2)"
"Mowed the lawn yesterday with my shirt off and this morning there were 50 shirts left on my porch with a sign that said, ""Please wear."""